Last updated on June 14th, 2023 at 09:59 am
Self-improvement for men is a priority for any man who wants to remain relevant in a value-driven society like ours. These tips are handy to keep you afloat.
Adding value should be a continuous priority for every man. As the world is advancing from all angles, so should you trail so you are not left behind.
Self-improvement for the man can be done in whatever approach is available. But I have a three-pronged approach for the man who really wants to dig deep to add value.
Tips for self-improvement
The tips are segmented into three parts starting from the self, environment, and then relations with people.
- Inward self-improvement
- Outward self-improvement and
- Social self-improvement
Inward self-improvement for men
Working on yourself on how to become a better man requires intrapersonal improvements that happen within yourself.
In fact, this is where the big work of recreating yourself is done. has more to do with building yourself inward than outwards and it’s not something another person can do for you.
You can only be motivated but only you can pick up the torchlight, go down into that hole and search for what is valuable, mine it, and probably give it commercial value or make it useful for humanity.
That is how to be a better man of repute. Below are the steps to take in fortifying yourself on the journey to becoming a better man:
1. Self-love and prioritize ‘you’
The number one steps towards improving yourself are to shower yourself with some love and your first priority is your mission in life.
You are the number one priority, whatever else comes second. If you love and respect yourself, then you will give yourself the best, no matter how hard it is.
Attend to yourself mentally, spiritually and surround yourself with people who inspire and keep you focused on the goal while honing yourself to become a brilliant personality.
2. Be a curious mind
Becoming a better man entails you should be a curious person and aware of your environment.
Curious in the sense of being eager to learn and acquire knowledge of your surroundings, what to learn, and having eyes for everything that can propel a man forward to the next level.
Without curiosity, there won’t be substantial motivation or interest to achieve whatever it is.
A better-man aspirant should be able to boost his curiosity by opening his mind and widening his scope to have a better view of what lies ahead instead of living in continuous groping and drifting. A landlocked mind is a miserable mind.
3. Become a brilliant personality
A brilliant personality is a sound mind with impeccable precision to detail. There are those who are naturally intelligent and can have brilliant opinions about issues.
It’s not an attribute you acquire in school but through experience, intuition, and profound knowledge of the environment.
4. Don’t be a multitasker
A rolling stone gathers no moss they say. Before 2022, I used to brag about how I can handle many tasks at a time, but after researching how multitasking damages your brain, I started focusing on one task at a time.
Multitasking excessively can damage your brain and hamper productivity, blasting a hole in your better-man fabric. It splits your attention and prevents you to have a concentrated focus on individual tasks, making you deliver half-baked projects.
Though sometimes multitasking is unavoidable, the key is minimizing or avoiding it when you can. A better man handles issues one at a time for clarity and an absolute grip on the task at hand.
5. Avoid impatience and irritability
Impatience and irritability are twin behaviours similar to worrying and trigger the release of bile into the body system, causing toxicity and harm to organs.
Both are physical manifestations resulting as bursts of anger and bitterness expressed uncontrollably to protest a situation or displeasure.
Irritable people are mostly bitter and unhappy and when it becomes a habit, it becomes a problem that can hamper a better man’s conduct of his life in society.
6. Put women in their place
It doesn’t matter if you are married or single, women have their place in your life, and that is second place after yourself.
This does not in any way mean you should not fulfill your obligation as a spouse or boyfriend, nor is it encouraging disrespect to your partner.
But you should not let their problems get in the way of your self-development or obstruct your becoming a better man. Everything being equal, your success is supposed to carry theirs along.
It is worthy of note that when you fail as a result of pleasing women, they won’t spare you.
They would not hesitate to treat you with contempt when you fail in your responsibility. Never ever trade your self-development with pleasing a woman.
7. Identify your core values and stick to them
Every man has got what he believes in and the principles that form his behaviours and decisions.
These core values are sacrosanct to your success. When observed strictly, they can be the stepping stones to self-discipline.
Having a strong moral background will make it easier and possible to remain true to who you are especially in tough situations.
It takes courage and conviction to let your values rule your attitudes towards self-development.
8. Nurture and fuel your ambition
I have not come across any man who does not have ambition. Okay, let me put it this way – I have never seen a man who does not have wishes.
Those wishes could remain wishes if nothing is done about their achievements.
Between saying and doing, a pair of shoes would wear out. Better men are ambitious people and they put in a lot of work to achieve what real men achieve.
Also Read: How To Be Likable By People And Build Genuine Connection
Discovering your competent area in life is the first step to take and honing and developing skills around that area is the second step to becoming competent.
In the middle of all of these is the motivation of ambition.
If your ambition is not serviced from time to time, it would be redundant and you might drop along the way shortly after the journey began.
9. Be accountable
Accountability is the ability to keep to commitments both to self and others. Better men do not shift blame or look for excuses to evade blame. They take responsibility for their actions and damn it.
Better men are responsible men who do not run away from their responsibilities. They accept their obligations, make mistakes and accept them.
Being accountable should be a watchword for any man who wants to be better.
10. Be intuitive
Being intuitive is your ability to understand things instinctively without conscious thoughts.
Your intuition should be honed as a better-man aspirant by keeping the mind active through imagination and visualizing different mental pictures of possible scenarios of a situation.
In any given situation, you should read the room and gauge the energy to be able to be alert and not taken unawares.
It helps you to know when to say what to say and know when to only listen.
This is a skill that must be developed as a man worthy of the better-man title. Drifting along or living without intuition is like groping in the dark.
Intuition is spiritual and a way your subconscious points you to things you would otherwise not have thought about.
11. Be positive and a realist
A realist acknowledges a situation and leans in on it while preparing to deal with it as it demands. Realists are not taken unawares or shaken by situations.
They envisage bad situations beforehand and take proper steps to alleviate them.
Being positive and optimistic has a good effect on the psyche of every man. Positivity is exercising hope and looking out for the best especially when you have put in the work.
Charge at your negative thoughts and focus your mind on things to do to beat failure and attain success.
12. Be in control of your emotions
Emotions have rendered more people goalless than any other factor in personal development.
Fear, anger, sympathy, love, and jealousy have made some men lose out in the quest to become better men.
Having a grip on your emotions will not only make you wield enormous power but will also help you make better decisions and command respect.
For instance, some men who are in love might have a warped interpretation of situations and make bad decisions.
Some because of fear of the unknown would hold themselves back from taking beneficial risks.
Having control of your emotions is key to attaining the status of a refined, modern man.
13. Let your words have worth
Words are the finest asset of a man. When a man talks, his worth is known. Are you among those men that talk because they have lips and can talk?
If you are given to talking and not fulfilling, this is a time to stop and start adding value to your words.
When you say you are going to put this over, put it over. Do not say another and do another. It makes you appear unserious and unreliable. You do not throw away the finest gauge of a man for nothing’s sake.
14. Set goals and pursue them
At each moment of your life, there should be a goal to achieve. It could be education, skill, buying a car, or setting up a business and it could be something as little as replacing your dead bulb in the house.
The important thing is to not procrastinate, pursue the goal and accomplish it. For a demanding goal, it might not be easy, but you are already prepared for it as you were aware beforehand.
The absence of goals will only make a stagnant man. The goals are the propellers of the moving man.
Each accomplished major goal pushes you to the next level where you also have to set another goal. The life of a better man is goalfull.
15. Be resilient
Resilience is the capacity to recover from difficulties quickly. It is toughness and doggedness.
You are out in the fight and you must win the crown. As a man, you would be faced with unfriendly and challenging situations.
Situations don’t kill, it’s your attitude towards them that creates the effect they have on you.
When you are driven by a strong desire to move from point A to point B, nothing is going to stand in your way.
16. Own your own faults
No man is perfect! We all have faults and we should as humans. Inasmuch as you strive to be a better man, you should not beat yourself up too much for making mistakes.
The key is to accept your fault or mistake, learn from it and move. There is always a lesson to learn from mistakes and inadequacies.
Do not shift the blame when you know you own the fault. Shifting grounds or apportioning blame shows you are irresponsible and not ready to receive the better man title.
It is in excessively bad taste to dodge responsibilities because you are scared of taking the blame. Such a man is meant to remain in the rut and not make an inch of progress.
17. Hone your mind
In this age when we are inundated with free information, we shouldn’t be bereft of meaningful information to sharpen our minds.
Deliberately pursue relevant knowledge in your area of expertise or where you have an interest.
The more you put your mind to use, the more it will be sharp and active. Reading is a sure way to achieve this.
Reading interesting, meaningful information and learning new things thereof will always keep your mind sharpened.
Also, playing games and solving puzzles will achieve that. The key is, to do what works and interests you. An active mind is a sharp mind.
18. Cultivate the habit of resting your mind
The human mind could be likened to a machine, but it can be overworked and is capable of breaking down.
While you are focused on working to become a better man, take time out and rest your mental hub.
It can be tricky though, especially when you have a lot to cover, you might find it a waste of time to rest.
But hey! It’s needed, it’s essential, you need it to allow your mind to relax and regenerate.
Taking rest doesn’t necessarily mean you have to sit or lie at a place while sipping away at your favourite drink.
It could mean going on a vacation, doing less demanding and natural tasks, relaxing and hanging out with friends, or just staying home and doing things different from your usual routine.
Outward self-improvement for men
External or outward self-improvement for men is essential to enhancing your becoming a better man.
Just like an inward improvement, external improvement is what can be seen and experienced in your interaction with people and your environment.
Below are the steps to take to improve your external self.
1. Be conscious of your body
Workout! Workout! Workout!
Somebody who wants to become a better man should have it reflected on his body. You don’t have to have all the muscles protruding, but some body-maintaining approaches can go a long way. Just keep fit.
Your mind, body, and soul should be a testament to your better manhood. They are from where your personality is honed. They have to be taken care of constantly.
Bodily exercise keeps your body at optimum performance, sustain your mental alertness, and keeps your circulatory system up and doing.
Related: How To Be A Real Man In The Workplace
As described somewhere above, it is a full-time job to want to be or to sustain becoming a better man. You have to always be at it and never stop. Regular exercise is key.
Also, you have to be conscious of your diet as this can also reflect on your body. Balanced diets are the healthiest and provide you with all the nutrients your body needs.
Resist the temptation to indulge in junk as they contain unhealthy nutrients that might cause illness and hamper productivity.
They can also cause long-term illnesses that will rip you off a good quality of life.
2. Have a noticeable good appearance
Your appearance is the first thing that anyone can see. The first impression they say matters a lot.
Appearance plays a big role in the impression you have on people. If you appear bland, you either have a bland impression or no impression at all.
Maintaining good hygiene, and dressing clean with clothes that match the occasion elicit your confidence.
Needless to say, there are clothes that make you uncomfortable and out of your element.
If possible, wear a nice cologne that portrays masculinity and style. You don’t have to be too elaborate or psychedelic as that would come off as trying hard to impress.
Your dress and the way you carry yourself would determine how people respond and relate to you.
3. Be up to date
Keep yourself informed about the world and happenings around you. Focus on relevant information that matters.
Learning about the current information about the world and how they affect your business, job and life is in good taste.
For instance, you can learn and follow up on the climate change issue and how they affect the livelihood and subsequent threats to the future of the earth and the little part you and the people around you can play to reduce global warming.
You can update yourself and have an opinion on the political situations in your country and play a part for the good of everyone.
Being knowledgeable in relevant issues is required by a man who wishes to be a better man so he can have an opinion in the midst of his fellow men and be accorded respect.
He can also be a teacher to the younger ones, leading them on the right path to becoming better also.
4. Be clean – make sure your surroundings are neat
Cleanliness is next to godliness and a man who wishes to be a better man should be a reflection of that.
Keeping your surroundings clean is a must and there is no how you can explain the opposite away.
Most men are dirty because they feel it’s the duty of the woman to keep the surroundings clean. O, boy! This is the dumbest and most useless excuse I have heard.
Most African men like in Nigeria believe that women, whether wives, sisters, or girlfriends are responsible for cleaning and washing.
In fact, some bachelors invite their girlfriends for the sole purpose of cleaning.
Well, you have to be different if you are ready to be a better man. Show that you can be clean irrespective of whether a woman is around you or not.
Replicate this in your home, office, street, and anywhere for that matter where you find yourself. This in itself is attractive.
5. Have a good approach to money
Being disciplined with money is a quality demanded from the man who wants to be a better man in society. You must not be rich to manage money properly according to your income.
You must have a scale of preferences and prioritize the most important items on the list.
An extravagant man would always be in debt and this is undesirable for the man who wants to be a better man.
Most young men these days using Nigeria as a case study are driven by avarice – the inordinate love for money.
The majority have an unreasonable love for cars which they don’t mind using their only money to get, just to feel belonged.
A car is not a bad acquisition if you can comfortably afford it.
For you who want to be different, know your priorities and what comes first in importance and is sacrosanct in your upliftment and growth.
Invest in meaningful ventures that would hasten your financial freedom so you can play later, instead of playing now and paying for your mistakes later.
Saving and investment are the keys. When you have saved enough, you can invest it to secure a better future.
Continuing to invest, for that is the best route to financial freedom, which is the dream of every man who is to be a better man.
Social self-improvement for men
Social self-Improvement for men is the improvement that happens with interaction with people.
In our world today where selfishness and narcissism reign supreme, coming across a man who is empathic and thinks for and about others is gratifying.
Kindness, empathy, respect, and unconditional love for others are some of the attributes you have to develop on your journey to becoming a better man.
Qualities required of you to become a better man hinge on your relationship with others.
Your being a better man is gauged by your treatment of others and the effect you have on them. Below are some of the attributes you have to pick up and hone.
1. Be a good listener and communicate effectively
Don’t be a conversation dominator and make others feel down and intimidated by your imposition.
When you speak, do so when it’s necessary. Be excellent while making your point and give others a chance to make theirs.
Talking all the way and cutting others shut puts you in a bad light and would make you miss out on things you could learn from other people’s good opinions.
Remember that great talkers are great liars. Talk concisely while slowing down your pitch and let others have the floor.
Improve your spelling, pronunciation, grammar, and vocabulary regularly for they make your communication rich and convey the appropriate meaning.
It also lets you teach others while communicating, especially when you introduce new words.
2. Open doors for others
This could be the commonest observable attribute of a gentleman and a better man, and you can find it in every post about rules for becoming a better man.
This is not about opening doors for a lady, but for everyone when you are closest to the door.
And when you open the door and walk in, hold the door for the person coming behind you.
You have to read this again, ‘a better man or a man that wants to be a better man holds the door for everyone’.
You have to stay beside the door a little longer to hold it for them to pass. It is a rule!
3. Intrapersonal dialogue before acting
It is discipline to think before talking and not be driven by the emotional push that comes with some situations.
Depending on the situation, you may be moved to lash out at someone, or use hard words to drive home a point; but on second thought, you might find out that would not be the best for the situation.
Having intrapersonal dialogues should be a part of you who is working your way to becoming a better man.
Acting on impulse could be forgiven if coming from a woman. But from a refined man? No!
When you master the art of intrapersonal communication with yourself, you develop an enviable mien that will come off as confidence.
You can handle volatile situations and come out unscathed.
4. Show respect to people
Better men respect not just people but also animals and in fact, the entire creation, and expect that in return.
It is in excessive good taste to be the first to love and show respect.
If your respect is not returned, you move on, but it shouldn’t make you stop, for this is the duty you owe your fellow human and nature because you are a better man.
People love to be around people who respect others because they feel comfortable. It’s an attribute of maturity that opens doors and cultivates the ground for meaningful relationships.
5. Selflessness and empathy
Adopt a selfless attitude towards people and seek the best course of action in every situation.
By showing interest in others and helping them, you come off as someone who can be trusted. By so doing, you build a massive army of networks for yourself.
It is easy to lose sight of people when you are so immersed in your own tasks and goals.
But it is important you attend to others and know you are a part of humanity who is a better man and has to show it.
This does not mean you must sacrifice yourself or have people walk all over you. You should be firm d sure of your own conviction in all your dealings.
6. Be honest
Honesty can never be old-fashioned and is the surest way to be trusted and build relevant alliances.
When you treat others the same way you want to be treated, you are a better man.
When you are genuinely true to yourself, truthfulness will always spill over into your daily acquaintances with people.
Say and do what you mean at all times and if you are mistakenly wrong, apologize genuinely.
Whatever you do, don’t be caught in your insincerity as this will strip you of the precious gift of trust and your relationships might suffer as a result.
The key takeaway is – to quit telling lies and honour commitments made.
7. Assume leadership positions
Contrary to opinions that it’s alpha males that occupy leadership positions and make things happen. You will be shocked to know that the alpha male rhetoric is a hoax and has never existed.
Positioning yourself as a leader wherever you find yourself is in good taste. Every man should be a leader if he is to express his better manhood properly.
Assuming leadership positions would also make you become accustomed to the proceedings.
Taking challenging positions when others are distancing themselves is an act of audacity and quite attractive.
Even if you are not able to secure a leadership position, be close to the authority and make an impact. The key thing is to let your voice be heard and known.
I like positioning myself in any organization I find myself in, either as a chairman, treasurer, secretary, or any other executive task.
This makes me a chance to have an input in the running of the organization as a better man.
Better men do not idle-talk and dream. They go all the way out to make the change they desire.
This is most commendable when your intention is genuine and not driven by personal interests and what one can get.
The more leadership skills you express, the more respect you will have as a better man.
8. Meet your filial obligations
Family responsibility is the primary responsibility of every human. In your lifetime, you will be a son, brother, husband, and father.
You also would have a strong bond with extended families and close associates.
Notwithstanding where you fit, you have to carry out your obligations religiously within that role.
Better men play their part judiciously without grumbling because they know how to take responsibility.
Building a strong bond in the family won’t come in the way of achieving your goals. In fact, the family would be a source of encouragement and energy to forge ahead.
9. Respect women
Somewhere at the beginning of this post, it was mentioned that women should be kept in their place.
Yes! But that does not translate to disrespect. Women are known to be clingy and demanding when they are in love and respect you.
That’s a desire that comes naturally and is fulfillable but you should know when they are coming in the way of success.
Many a man has been dragged into the mud or even killed because they gave too much attention to women.
Respecting women means loving and caring for them, understanding their nature, ignoring their shortcomings, and not using their weaknesses and vulnerability against them. Better men treat women as humans and not sexual objects.
10. Initiate the first move
This might be similar to taking a leadership position but it is actually being the motivator wherever you find yourself.
Many people lack the self-will to start a course. They may always need that little first push to start out.
This is achievable when you dislodge the fear emotion and take the bull by the horn.
When you initiate the first move, you earn yourself respect and you would be encouraged to acquire more knowledge to be able to be a better man and leader.
Take challenges as they come instead of worrying about them and sapping your energy ahead of time. If you have a lady you are contemplating, go ahead and ask her out.
If you are rejected, that is okay, at least you would know you have tried and she would be out of your list of ladies on your radar.
Be the discoverer of gold mines and profitable investments. Be the researcher who always informs others of the latest profitable lifehacks.
11. Tolerate others
In a world of annoying people who show little or lack of respect, you would be moved to always be at loggerheads with people – colleagues, family members, friends, and acquaintances.
No one is exactly like you so there would be differences in thoughts and understandings. Besides, each person is in a different stage of personal development.
If you begin to want to change everyone, you would have a lot to deal with and constant altercations with people. You don’t need that.
Tolerance and looking the other way most times would save you a lot.
A better man would tolerate the weaknesses and strengths of others, so avoid hampering and retrogression.
12. Be grateful, always show gratitude
Acknowledge the help and input of others in your life. Showing gratitude is an attribute that eludes many men and is able to increase your likeability and trust of others.
When you praise other people’s efforts, they reciprocate with their loyalty and are encouraged to do more. This is how better men make other people feel good about themselves.
Improving yourself in relationship
Being a better man does not end with the above tips. It should also be extended to your family, especially your wife.
Here are tips on how to become a better person in your relationship:
- Pay attention to your partner
- Show unconditional care as every partner need some degree of care
- Help out with the house chores even when you are not comfortable with them
- Know your spouse or girlfriend
- Boycott cheating
- Accept your partner and don’t chastise her becomes of the changes in her body
- Create time for your partner
- Show that you are trustworthy and live it
Conclusion
It is easy to say you want to improve yourself and fail even when the tips for self-improvement are plastered everywhere around you.
It takes a strong will to refine yourself to the standard you would be proud of. The three-thronged approach is perfect to know where to start.
If you are honest with yourself and make it a priority, you are going to put it over and see results in a short while.
Thanks for reading.
References:
- Self Improvement for Men: A Complete Guide
- How To Improve Your Life As A Man
- Best Books For Men About Self Improvement
Pious Clements is the insightful voice behind "The Conducts of Life" blog, where he writes about life ethics, self-development, life mastery, and the dynamics of people and society.
With a profound understanding of human behaviuor and societal dynamics, Pious offers thought-provoking perspectives on ethical living and personal growth.
Through engaging narratives and astute observations, he inspires readers to navigate life's complexities with wisdom and integrity, encouraging a deeper understanding of the human experience and our place within society.
