Young men have been in a frenzy about how to be an alpha male either to woo women or to command respect in society and be on top of every situation.
Whatever your reasons are to search the net seeking advice on how to be an alpha male, you should know a few things about the concept, especially its history before you know if it is worth it.
I have been on the alpha male issue for some time now because of many unproven misrepresentations I have been reading about the concept.
These misrepresentations are capable of deceiving a lot of people especially young honing minds who are seeking how to be an alpha male.
Why seeking how to become an alpha male would hurt you
It should be noted that you are not into any competition with anyone. You are not going to live your adulthood trying to impress the fellow men, women or the public with your alpha male dream.
As wrong as it is, seeking how to become an alpha male or looking for the alpha male signs in you won’t do you any good because you are going to be frustrated.
When young men hear alpha male, what rings in their heads is how to woo a woman, subdue her, be on top of every situation, and the envy of other men.
Men have been wooing women since the days of Adam and there is no fixed way to have a woman coming after you begging.
You would be surprised at some women admiring the lowly and humble in society while shoving aside the haughty man who has amassed all the wealth.
It is pertinent for you to accept the hard fact that becoming the vague alpha male cannot woo you a woman.
Instead, you would only continue to rigmarole on things you already know but are painted with different colours on the surface.
Being a stubborn person in society when your personality is to be humble would hurt you more.
You would find it difficult in all your dealings. The key is to be yourself and be a man in your own way.
Even if you try out the strategies of the alpha which are out of your element, you would also be disappointed because they don’t work.
For instance, being emotionless when it is not in your personality would haunt you and do more damage to your psyche than good.
Being proud to women when it is uncomfortable for you would present you in a bad light and you would look like an automaton doing it.
Becoming a misogynist would not also sit well with you if you have been a decent person all along and you would get pissed with the results you would get before long.
Having manly physical features is only halfway to being masculine and confident. You can be man enough without becoming an alpha male. Here’s how.
You don’t magically become masculine because you have big biceps, beards, huge bank accounts, big house, or big in the hood.
They are good attributes for a man, but these things should not rule your life.
The important attributes of masculinity are in the mind and attitude not being muscular, dominant of oppressive.
How you carry yourself, treat people, and not often your prowess in dating defines your manliness.
Confident masculinity is taking ownership of your life and realizing you are responsible for yourself and probably others.
You must refuse to be sorry for yourself for not meeting up with the alpha male rhetoric and instead put that energy into using the available resources to project yourself.
When you tie your masculinity to these external things only, they put you in a position of neediness which is in itself a sign of lack of confidence.
It shows you are trying hard to be validated. Confidence does not need money, a big car or a house to manifest.
Confidence can manifest from the slums and win a lady from uptown.
Confident masculinity does not wait for approval either by a woman or society. There is a strong conviction in the heart of the confident man that drives him past the expectation of society, of him.
How to become an alpha male and ruin everything
The alpha male is not humble, and neither is he a gentleman. The alpha male is a brutish, slippery man who has got selfish tendencies with a fragile ego.
The alpha male in the animal world who is domineering, violent, and aggressive should not be different from the human alpha male.
Does it actually make sense that humans borrowed the ‘alpha male’ term from animals who are aggressive and everything distasteful and then try to whitewash the term to mean the opposite?
He does not believe in commitment and is misogynistic in nature. This means he is weary of pleasing women even though he might want them around.
He’s scared of women wielding the littlest power as this would put a gigantic hole in his ego.
6 ways to ruin your relationships as an alpha male
The elusive image of the alpha male is the obsession of the average young man. They, however, go overboard and do not know when they become toxic and become a nuisance.
1. Commandeer your lover
The real alpha male crusaders are obsessed with masculinity and its traits. Because of the conflicts and blurry lines surrounding the right way to be a man, they jumble a lot of traits together to appear manly.
Being commandeering is one of them.
The fastest way to make your date, lover, or wife regret coming into your space is to act as a military commander dishing out orders in high tones.
It might seem manly initially, but as time passes, it wears off your respect and presents you in the light of an asshole.
And when you do not heed to her complaints, your relationship is on its way to the rocks.
2. Be overly protective
Women love their men to be masculine enough in its sense, but you as a man should know the boundary between being protective and being clingy.
Being overprotective is actually a sign of weakness and women don’t like that. Women are not some spineless amoebae that can’t do anything for themselves.
If you continue to flaunt your masculinity when not needed, it would come off with many unmanly connotations that would elicit a lot of negative meanings.
3. Become a man of many women
Things are changing and women are not left behind. Time has gone when they tell you women want who other women want.
The new generation women don’t give a damn if you are after many women. Everyone wants peace of mind.
If you are after many women, they already dumped your ass in their head and you would see manifestation in no time.
Inasmuch as you as a man cannot condone your wife or partner having multiple relationships, why would another human being condone that?
You might get away with multiple dating with many women, but a quality woman would elude you with such behaviour.
This is being contemptuous to your partner because she is a woman. There are men who get close to women for the sole purpose of procreation and sex.
Apart from those two, they treat women with contempt and disrespect. I know of many men who push their partners to separate rooms when they are on their menses.
They cannot stand to see their women menstruate and give their support. Instead, all they can show is disgust and intolerance.
Women need more support both physically and emotionally and when you are deficient in this, you may not be getting all the benefits of being with a woman.
5. Be a woman beater
Yes! Apart from being misogynists, alpha males are aggressive towards women. Yes! We know women are flippant with their tongues and they can run and paint a man in their own colours with their tongues.
But beating a woman or showing any kind of violence is not a good strategy to tame a woman.
Becoming intolerant of someone who you call your partner or wife is actually a weakness.
Of course, one of the traits of alpha male wannabes is intolerance. They are so quick-tempered that they can engage with fisticuffs to drive home a point.
Your woman may tolerate the first physical humiliation, but she might have a lot going on in her mind against you and the relationship.
6. Become emotionally absent
Men in almost every culture see emotional suppression as a sign of masculinity. In fact, it is a sign of weakness for a man to be overly emotional.
As obvious as that is, it is totally out of context to be as rigid as a rock when it comes to your woman.
Being emotionally available for your woman is a step toward satisfying her emotional needs.
Most times, just succumbed to her feelings and cared about what she thought would make her day.
It does not make you less of a man to be emotionally vulnerable to your woman. Allow them to win sometimes. It pays to leave your masculinity out of the day most times.
If you leave a vacuum in your relationship, someone might just fill it up and ruin everything.
7. Ignore all her warnings
Men alpha male wannabes dismiss their women’s warnings especially when she has been a good woman to them.
They think because they are hardmen, no woman can actually try to hurt them. We have heard stories of women killing men in relationships in their sleep.
There are many ways a woman would hurt you if you really push her too far. You should pay attention to a woman’s warnings especially when you have not been good to her.
Seeking how to be an alpha male is a wild goose chase. To become a decent man who is revered and the dream of every woman is not as demanding as seeking how to be an alpha male.
In fact, you would be at peace with yourself and society when you be yourself and learn a few ways to navigate the social scene mesmerizing everyone and climbing the social ladder in peace.
Stay tuned on this website as we bring your ways of becoming manly without being an asshole both to the women, your fellow men, and the public.
If you found this article valuable, let me know in the comment section, and appreciate it by sharing for others to learn.
Thank you for reading.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
A Personal Development Content Creator and an author. I write about life ethics and love to document and share life hacks and experiences of people to help others make good life decisions.
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