How A Gentleman Treats A Lady: The 4 Basic Attitudes

Last updated on January 25th, 2024 at 07:20 am

How a gentleman treats a lady in society today might not be a matter of concern, but what might be a concern is the dwindling peace in the family unit. Could there be a connection?

In today’s world, some see the art of chivalry as medieval, and some may even dismiss it as sexist, old-fashioned, or even effeminate, but you cannot dismiss its heartwarming effect both on society and women.

There is much to be said about treating those around us with respect, kindness, and a little bit of extra special attention.

In this article, we’ll explore what it means to be a gentleman to a lady and how you can put these principles into practice in your interactions with the ladies in your life and in society, win their admiration, and make society livelier.

But before we go into all that, there is something that has eluded some men for centuries.

Something very important they may be aware of, but have not been applying or taking into consideration.

The way most men see women and their opinion of them especially in Africa is demeaning. To change this, the orientation of men towards women should change.

Watch this Video on Etiquette for How a Man Should Treat His Lady(38sec)

Courtesy: Zeelicious Foods

Table of Contents

How men see women

A man shows How A Gentleman Treats A Lady

Some men, because of their ignorance of how women are built emotionally and mentally, and how these shape their behaviours, tend to judge them according to their own (men’s) understanding, and especially what they see.

Men need to go beyond the superficial when treating the matters of women.

Negative attitudes toward women may stem from societal and cultural norms that perpetuate gender stereotypes and inequality.

Commonly, the majority of men see women as sex objects and trophies to be won.

These men may view women this way due to societal norms and media portrayals that promote the objectification of women.

Related: How To Engage in Polite Conversation

This belief can be harmful and perpetuates gender stereotypes, which can lead to limiting a person’s potential based on their gender.

It is essential to acknowledge that everyone has inherent value, and they should be respected for whom they are rather than objectified for their physical appearance or perceived status.

These norms may lead to more objectification, oppression, and devaluation of women, which can contribute to negative attitudes and behaviors toward them.

It is right to challenge and change these harmful norms to promote gender equality and respect for all individuals, regardless of gender and gentlemen should be at the forefront.

The importance and benefits of seeing women from their perspective

A gentleman treating a lady with utmost respect

There are many benefits in stepping back and seeing women in a different positive light, instead of the century-long objectification of them.

Here are some of the benefits of seeing women from their own eyes:

  • Equality: Men and women should be treated equally in all aspects, including their perspectives. Seeing things from a woman’s point of view helps men understand the challenges, discrimination, and struggles that women face daily. This understanding can promote gender equality and empower women to achieve their goals.
  • Empathy: By seeing things from a woman’s perspective, men can build empathy and compassion towards women. This helps them to understand the emotions, feelings, and experiences that women go through. Understanding is the foundation of healthy and fulfilling relationships, be they personal or professional.
  • Better communication: Understanding the women’s perspective can lead to better communication between the genders, particularly in situations where comprehension and sensitivity are of the essence. This could lead to better work collaboration, personal relationships, and mutual respect.
  • Building strong relationships: Men can build stronger bonds with women by understanding their perspectives. When men have empathy, understanding, and respect toward women, it shows in their actions and behaviors toward them. They build trust and respect with the other gender and a healthy and thriving relationship blossoms.
  • A holistic view: A complete view of the world requires one to step out of their POV and observe life through other people’s vantage points. Consequently, obtaining an alternative perspective allows one to analyze problems from different angles, make better decisions, avoid groupthink, and think creatively.

Related: Difference Between the Average Man and the Gentleman

Negative effects of treating ladies badly

An unhappy lady being treated badly by her man

How a gentleman treats a lady is a reflection of their existence. Treating women badly can have several negative impacts on society. Here are some of how it can affect society:

  • Loss of talent: When women are mistreated or discriminated against in the workplace, they may choose to leave their jobs or not pursue certain career paths, resulting in a loss of talent and skills for society.
  • Lower productivity: When women are not given equal opportunities or are subject to harassment, they may be less productive at work. This can negatively impact the productivity and economic growth of society as a whole.
  • Health consequences: Women who experience violence or abuse may suffer from physical and mental health problems, which can lead to increased healthcare costs and reduced quality of life for both women and their families.
  • Social cohesion: Treating women badly can lead to a breakdown in social cohesion and trust, as well as increased levels of anger and frustration among women and their supporters.
  • Impacts on future generations: When women are treated badly, their children may also suffer negative consequences, such as poor health, lower educational achievement, and reduced opportunities.

How a gentleman treats a lady the right way and why it matters

A gentleman pulls out a chair for her lady

Ladies do not require much to feel pleased and comfortable in society. And making them comfortable is not being a simp as some alpha male crusaders would call it.

But it’s a natural trait every man should possess towards the woman irrespective of what she represents to him.

Here are four basic ways to be a good gentleman toward women which every other behaviour is hinged on:

1. Respect is Key: Why It Matters

One of the core tenets of being a gentleman is to treat all women with respect. Treat every lady with respect and dignity, regardless of their age, race, religion, or social status.

Listen to their opinions and acknowledge their contributions.

This means recognizing their autonomy and independence, as well as treating them with the same level of deference and consideration you would want for yourself.

Respect is not something that is earned, but rather, it is something that is earned automatically by simply being a human being.

When you show a woman respect, you are telling her that you value her and see her as worthy of your admiration.

Related: Why the Gentleman is Misunderstood

2. Communication matters

Another important aspect of being a gentleman is the way you communicate with the woman in society.

Communication is key. This means that you listen to her needs and desires, while also communicating your thoughts and feelings clearly and honestly.

Gentlemanly communication involves being open, honest, and respectful–even when you’re disagreeing with one another.

It also requires you to be a good listener and to be responsive to her needs, both emotionally and physically.

Related: The History Of The Gentleman Down The Ages

3. Small gestures that make a big difference

The little things in life can make a big difference when it comes to being a gentleman.

Simple, thoughtful gestures can go far in making a woman feel special and appreciated.

These could be anything from opening doors for her or pulling out her chair, helping her with a bulky load, being a momentary handyman, or sending her a sweet text message just to let her know she’s on your mind if you have romantic intentions.

These small acts of kindness will show her that you are considerate, attentive, and respectful.

However, this should be done with genuine interest and not doing them in the position of exploitation or ‘being a nice guy’.

4. Treat her as an equal

Although a gentlemanly man will always treat a woman with respect, he should also treat her as an equal.

This means that he should never condescend to or patronize her, but should instead have an equal relationship with her.

A true gentleman doesn’t need to dominate or control the women in his life, or in society, but instead respects her autonomy and independence.

He is supportive of her dreams and aspirations and helps her to feel empowered and capable.

Frequently Asked Questions

How should a gentleman treat a lady on a date?

A gentleman should be courteous, attentive, and respectful, ensuring the lady feels comfortable and valued throughout the evening.

What are some key traits of a gentleman’s behavior towards a lady?

A gentleman displays kindness, chivalry, and consideration, always prioritizing the lady’s well-being and treating her with dignity and respect.

How can a gentleman show appreciation for a lady’s company?

A gentleman can express gratitude, offer compliments, and actively listen, demonstrating genuine interest in the lady’s thoughts and feelings.

What should a gentleman do if a lady feels uncomfortable?

A gentleman should immediately address the situation, apologize if necessary, and adjust his behavior to ensure the lady feels safe and respected.

Final thoughts

How a gentleman treats a lady is not about being perfect or flawless, but about striving toward a more respectful and attentive way of being.

With these key principles in mind, you can show the women around you that you value them, respect them, and admire them.

Whether you’re in a romantic relationship or simply looking to be a friend, the way you treat others will have an impact on the world around you.

By being a true gentleman, you can make a difference in the lives of those around you and show others that kindness, respect, and chivalry are still alive and well in today’s world.


  1. 22 Ways To Be A Gentleman Towards Girls
  2. How To Be A Gentleman To Women In Relationships
The Conducts Of Life | | Website | + posts

Pious Clements is the insightful voice behind "The Conducts of Life" blog, where he writes about life ethics, self-development, life mastery, and the dynamics of people and society.

With a profound understanding of human behaviuor and societal dynamics, Pious offers thought-provoking perspectives on ethical living and personal growth.
Through engaging narratives and astute observations, he inspires readers to navigate life's complexities with wisdom and integrity, encouraging a deeper understanding of the human experience and our place within society.