8 Misconceptions about the perfect gentleman

Last updated on November 4th, 2023 at 10:43 pm

There are misconceptions about the perfect gentleman that makes the lifestyle unattractive even though it’s capable of putting everyone at peace.

Credit: The Good Guy Inc

Do you think about the polished man as a man who is timid and a pushover or a man who is confident, selfless, and makes people around him comfortable?

The media and a lot of other groups have their versions and interpretation of the perfect gentleman which they feed their audience, either healthy or unhealthy.

You probably have your opinion of the gentleman according to what you have heard, read, or observed in society.

You may want to also read about how the perfect gentleman differs from the everyday man.

In this post, we have distilled the commonest misconceptions about the perfect gentleman into seven strong points after extensive research on the subject.

Reasons for the Misconceptions about the Perfect Gentleman

People misunderstand the concept of the gentleman and try to give it a false interpretation for many reasons.

Ignorance is the biggest factor in the misconception about the gentleman. People are bereft of what the lifestyle stands for and therefore label many behaviours that are not healthy as gentlemanly.

The media is another reason for the misconceptions about the gentleman. The media can publish paid articles that misinform the public to push a narrative that serves a particular purpose for a group.

Being a gentleman is many things to many people, according to where one is coming from, but one thing is glaring – gentlemanliness means well for society.

Misconceptions about the gentleman

Here are the commonest misconceptions about the gentleman that tries to put it in a bad light or make it awkward.

  • Gentlemen always go in suits and ties
  • Gentlemen are people pleasers
  • Gentlemen think they are superior to others
  • Gentlemen are spineless, pushovers and weaklings
  • Gentlemen don’t have a place in the kitchen
  • Gentlemen are egoistic
  • Gentlemen promote toxic masculinity
  • Gentlemen are boring and don’t have fun

1. Gentlemen always go in suits and ties

One of the popular misconceptions about the gentleman is that he is always in a suit or dress shirt with dress shoes to go looking well groomed.

One can be in a suit and still be driven by a brute mind that does not have regard for people, an absolute nuisance.

Related: How to Speak Like a Refined Man

Inasmuch as gentlemen love to appear well-groomed, it is not a rule. They dress casually in what makes them comfortable.

What is paramount is how he treats the people and the environment around him.

He might be in a pair of combat shorts, flip-flops, and a baseball cap and still be a perfect gentleman.

A gentleman should not, however, be seen in baggy trousers hanging down his ass, or other forms of immodest dressings unbecoming of a decent man in society.

2. Gentlemen are people’s pleasers

This notion is wrong and it is a thing because gentlemen like to see people happy and so would give up their comfort for others.

This is unselfishness and love for humanity. They don’t do this so they can be accepted or validated as is the situation for people pleasers who lack self-esteem. The gentleman is confident but empathetic.

3. Gentlemen are cocky and think they are superior to others

No! Perfect gentlemen don’t feel they are superior to others. A gentleman who is a CEO of a company would treat his cook, and cleaners with the same courtesy, dignity, and respect he treats people of his status.

Because he understands altogether, that we are still human beings who have the same feelings and emotions. One person is no better than the next person.

He understands perfectly what it feels like to be treated condescendingly and he does not wish that for any person, not even an animal.

Though there are men who wear the cloak of a gentleman, their behaviours are contrary to what a gentleman should be.

Related: Qualities Women Are Searching in Men

These are the people who give the perfect gentleman a bad name. Those are not gentlemen.

A gentleman does his best to make sure people around him are emotionally comfortable, especially women.

Other people might treat women recklessly without respect because they are women. He does not expect a woman to be holed up in the kitchen all day making all the meals and exhaustively living like that each day, doing all the laundry.

4. A perfect gentleman is a weakling who can’t stand up for himself

This is an embarrassing misunderstanding of being a gentleman. It is widely believed that he is a weak man who is timid to fight back or stand up for himself and others.

On the contrary, a gentleman does not show off strength or anticipate physical violence but that does not mean he can’t defend himself.

He only chooses to be gentle because it’s the best route for everyone to be at peace with each other.

However, if the situation calls for him to defend himself, he would do that perfectly.

5. They don’t have a place in the kitchen

There is a wrong opinion that gentlemen don’t belong in the kitchen. As wrong as it sounds, men are the greatest consumers of what comes from the kitchen.

If a man has got a lot of people in the house, he might not have any need to frequent the kitchen.

But when it’s just him and someone who might not be disposed to attend to his kitchen needs, he has to leverage the satisfaction the kitchen can offer.

Remember, being a perfect gentleman is about making things easy for himself and others.

Related: How the Gentleman Came About Down The Ages

6. Gentlemen are egoistic

A man who is boastful or brags about his achievements is not a gentleman. Within him, he knows he’s a gift to the world, he knows he has something to offer, but he’s not going to brag about that.

He is emotionally smart enough to know that bragging makes other people feel intimidated and threatened, making them lose their self-confidence.

A gentleman is altruistic and does not make everything about himself and his gratification. He considers the feelings and well-being of others.

7. Gentlemen promote toxic masculinity

The perfect gentleman is a custodian and promoter of healthy masculinity. He does not use masculinity to perpetrate injustice or trample on others as can be seen by toxic masculinity.

Even when the odds are on his side, he does not, he instead helps the weak to measure up.

This can be seen in his being against the PUA community that has pitched a tent with women, whom they perceive as a threat to their masculinity.

8. Gentlemen are boring and don’t have fun

It’s sad that people think gentlemen are averse to having fun. People actually believe that a gentleman cannot dance or do all the fun stuff that makes life exciting.

Gentleman parties, and drinks but not in a ridiculous way that he will get drunk, unbecoming of a decent man in society.


Because of ignorance and wrong information, misconceptions about the perfect gentleman are rife, making the beautiful lifestyle unattractive.

Most men and women who grew up with the opinion that being a gentleman is being on the wrong side of masculinity tend towards violence and uncouth behaviours which are menaces to society.

Gentlemanliness cannot go out of fashion, and will always put everyone at ease. The misconceptions have really been widespread, especially with the advent of the internet.

However, the campaign is always on to encourage both men and women to exude gentlemanliness and look out for the next person for a better world.


Pious Clements is the insightful voice behind "The Conducts of Life" blog, where he writes about life ethics, self-development, life mastery, and the dynamics of people and society.

With a profound understanding of human behaviuor and societal dynamics, Pious offers thought-provoking perspectives on ethical living and personal growth.
Through engaging narratives and astute observations, he inspires readers to navigate life's complexities with wisdom and integrity, encouraging a deeper understanding of the human experience and our place within society.