Dating an alpha male could be the dream of every woman, but is she ready to put up with all the stress and the problems with the purported alpha male?
In this post I am going to expose the troubles that come with dating an alpha male and I will be referring to him as ‘purported’ because the human alpha male concept is not supported by any scientific study.
The pro-alpha males have stooped as low as sharing the alpha male term with animals and they take pride in it without batting an eyelid.
This makes women to be mostly apprehensive and at the receiving end of the alpha male’s bad behaviours.
They see him as god and worship him in their subconscious. They imagine his traits in bed and all associated thoughts that accompany such anxiety.
Dating an alpha male puts women in precarious situations because what they saw at the onset is going to change and she will continue to see different negative changes.
The alpha male might be all that a woman desired at the onset, but after he has had his full and satiated, he changes to a heartbreaking machismo which is actually weakness on his part.
As demeaning as it is, the alpha males would go to any length in defending their position when confronted and don’t care the emotional trauma he causes the woman.
Is an alpha male good for a relationship?
The purported alpha male aligns with toxic or unhealthy masculinity which is a very disturbing issue with dating an alpha male.
Most pro-alpha males find the alpha male term appealing because it protects their reptilian ego while also giving them a platform to subdue further the female gender and people they can.
To answer this question, alpha males are not good for relationships. Of course what do you expect?
If you know the antecedents of the alpha male in the wild (animals) then you would know they share similar traits with the human alpha males.
The human alpha is even worse because he employs emotional torture, blackmail and every other technique to hurt the woman.
He does not do this however to spite the woman, but because of his selfishness and to pursue whatever goals he has, relevant or irrelevant.
What is it like dating an alpha male?
The greatest undoing of any woman is to fall in love with an alpha male without knowing what to expect.
I have known some ladies who just wanted to date the purported alpha male for the fun of it.
People like her won’t get hurt dating an alpha male who would begin to act strange before long because she is already prepared for whatever comes.
Related: Alpha Male Traits In Bed
But for the naïve woman who would go into a relationship with him with her heart, it may end in tears.
So to answer this question, dating an alpha male is like hell. You don’t have a grip on him, he does not care much about your feelings.
His feelings come first and you are going to make sense to him when you has need for you.
Most single mums were put in that situation by the purported alpha males who have no sense of responsibility.
It felt good at the onset but belong long, she is battling with heartbreaks and disappointment.
So I advice that you fortify your heart and gamble dating the alpha male and expect the worst.
Below are some of the problems with dating an alpha male and even though the concept has been trying to be rebranded, these problems will continue to be associated with dating the alpha male.
1. Alpha males perpetuate psychological torture against women and others
The wannabe alpha males perpetuate not only physical violence, but they also inflict psychological torture on their victims especially women who they have imaginary war with because of either past experience or sheer hatred.
This is one of the problems with dating an alpha male. With dominance, he won’t let the woman breathe – have opinions and participate in decision-making.
Dominance is a word used to cloak misogynism in men as one cannot be dominant without having some streaks of dislike or hatred for women.
In their thoughts and expression, women should be schemed out of things and remain exclusively for sexual gratification.
This apprehension for the feminine gender has been driven by reptilian insecurities that the purported alpha males can’t discard.
If you are dating an alpha male, be ready for all of that.
2. Dating an alpha male puts you in the danger of domestic violence
You should be aware of this before dating an alpha male.
In their posture, you can see they don’t want women to wield any kind of power or have an opinion, not in the family, not as a girlfriend, not in governments, not anywhere.
This is because they believe women are not their equals but hunting trophies they flaunt and display for showoffs.
If women don’t comply with their position as a woman, they can unleash violence, rape, and domestic violence, and even death.
Related: Do Alpha Males Fall In Love? 5 Questions Ladies Ask
This singular factor has made us see a lot of gender-related domestic violence that has led to many deaths.
These confident-deficit men seem to find it hard to handle successful women and can become unpredictable and toxic towards them. It doesn’t matter if she’s, his wife.
3. Alphas have bloated superiority
It is unquestionable whether alpha males are toxic to women, they are, and also to men they see as beta males who do not conform to their idea of masculinity.
Knowing this when dating an alpha male would save you some headaches and unnecessary drama.
They feel the nonexistent betas are too weak because they are nice to women and express emotions. Read more about alpha male vs beta male.
It is a problem that the alpha males detest emotions. They believe in this stoic, rigid posturing that has nothing to do with emotional intelligence.
Tears are not part of life for the alpha males as they bury every emotional feeling deep inside them, and you know what? It eats them deep from within.
It’s only the feeling of bloated superiority that has a place in their confined little minds that has refused to evolve beyond the reptilian brain.
4. Alpha males are obsessed with being the centre of attention
Another problem with dating an alpha male is the obsession with being the centre of attention.
It’s only insecure people that can become toxic or whine just to be noticed.
Dating an alpha male would completely put you at the background because he is going to be getting all the attention.
Because of the mismanagement of their emotions, alpha males seldom empathize with others.
Anyways, they are the ones with the real problems of lack of self-awareness, social awareness and relationship management.
It’s so hard for them to bear all the toxic loads while also dealing with such inferiority and low self-esteem.
They don’t have any sense of fulfilment in their solitude. They must latch on to people’s validation before they feel like humans.
This leads them to develop antisocial behaviours that would land them in trouble or altercations with others.
There is nothing wrong with being the centre of attention but one has to earn it by having value to offer to gain the spotlight.
Instigating fights in clubs or showing power in the street is a sign of chronic insecurity.
5. Over exploitation of patriarchy
Alpha males have problems drawing the line on patriarchy. It could be a man’s world but that does not mean the women do not have an opinion.
When you relegate women who are so many roles to play in society, you are showing that you are insecure and not just in dealing with people.
Alpha males have the imposing need to crush especially the opposite gender’s attempt to be relevant. It screams narcissism and toxicity toward anything feminine.
In some cultures, and religions, man is so powerful that women do not have a say, do not work or do what they deserve.
That might be acceptable but taking it further by subjecting women to emotional, mental and physical torture.
According to a United Nations study, nearly 30% of women have suffered sexual or physical violence by a husband, boyfriend or a non-partner.
The report went ahead to say women aged 15-49 years have been physically and sexually molested by their partners at least once in their lifetime.
The incidence could be more than the statistics presented as there are unreported incidents all over the world.
6. Alpha males have too much mental overload
Alpha males have a lot of bruised egos to heal. Their mental space is overloaded with toxic masculinity garbage triggered by emotional wounds right from their teenagerhood.
These toxic masculinity behaviours are destructive to everyone including themselves.
Emotional repression is a major unhealthy behaviour that gives rise to mental overloads.
This is because alpha males rely so much on the repression of emotions and stereotypical alpha male traits.
It encourages depression, stress and abuse of substances which play out as abuse, violence and other ill-treatment of people around him.
Benefits of dating an alpha male
Though it is huge task dating an alpha male, below are some benefits that can come with it:
1. He does not get jealous
The thing about these strong men is that none of them will be overly possessive toward you or shield you from the gaze of other men who might be staring at you.
The alpha will not have time to be envious of other guys because he is too self-assured and egotistical to do so. Simply put, those people pose no threat.
Having said that, it doesn’t follow that they approve of you dating a ton of unneeded males.
2. You feel protected dating dominant males
Alpha males are undeniably tough and strong. They cannot be intimidated by other alpha males and so stand their grounds.
By his side, you feel protected and because whatever comes, he is going to keep you out of harm even before himself.
This is because, the purported alpha males believe that it is the duty of a man to do the knight works for people around them.
3. You benefit from the attention he receives
While dating an alpha male, you are likely to also benefit from the attentions given to him since he always want to be the centre of attention.
Well, you and I know women love to be on the spot light. This might be a relief to you after receiving emotional bullying from him.
4. Dating an alpha male makes you emotionally strong
Dating an alpha male will surely transform you into an emotionally fortified human.
The ups and downs in your emotional travails with him will make you somewhat averse to the emotional games of men.
This is a good thing because it would shield you from further heartbreaks or emotional stress in your subsequent relationships.
Tackling the problems with dating an alpha male
Tackling the problems of bloated male superiority which leads to undesired harmful antisocial behaviours should be basic.
A family is an important place for getting it right with the developing male child. He should be though right from the onset that women are not rivals or sex objects.
If confidence is imbued in a child at the developmental stage, he won’t have problems with his masculinity well into and after his teenagerhood.
This drastically reduces the likelihood of toxic masculinity.
It is safe to say that it is best tackled early to save society from grappling with adult men who are a big burden to both men and women in society.
It’s time to educate the boys properly from infancy to understand they are humans and not some unresponsive, emotion-proof beings who must project their power to become relevant.
Dating an alpha male is not an easy task for the woman who has not experience with slippery and selfish behaviour of men.
The alphas have a mentality with too much of false beliefs about masculinity – being strong, shouldn’t cry, showing no emotions and this turns them into stoic beings who should be mental patients.
It is important to also reiterate that a the human alpha is a hoax. The man is neither alpha nor beta but an intricate being who should be a mixture of kindness, empathy, benevolence, wits, assertiveness and other pros-social behaviours that encourage healthy co-habitation with everyone.
As a man reading me, if understanding your masculinity is a source of suffering or mental torture, it’s time to question your beliefs and experiences and purge your mind of all the toxicity.
And the woman reading me, you have known what to expect dating an alpha male, so brace up.
Thank you for reading. We welcome criticisms and opinions. You can use the comment box.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
A Personal Development Content Creator and an author. I write about life ethics and love to document and share life hacks and experiences of people to help others make good life decisions.
Every content published on The Conducts Of Life is well-reviewed by experienced professionals in the field. Contents are fact-checked for accuracy, relevance, and timeliness and we include links to sources at the bottom of every article for more insights.