Last updated on November 4th, 2023 at 10:42 pm
All gentlemen are men, but not all men are gentlemen. Here is a succinct list of the differences between the everyday man and a debonair man.
Politeness in the streets has become nearly obsolete in modern times. Everyone seems impolite for one reason or another.
Gentlemanliness has been replaced with abrasiveness in people’s conduct towards each other and the environment. This is because being polite is believed to be a sign of weakness.
Being the perfect gentleman has been often misunderstood. Here is a post on the wrong opinions about the gentleman.
Selfishness is on the rise and patience for the next person is on a speedy decline, giving rise to dishonesty, brash treatments, and conflicts, as a result of a gross loss of politeness and courtesy.
Related: How to Speak Like a Polished Man
In all of these, being a perfect gentleman is standing clearly out of the crowd and gaining social power by providing the deficient but charming politeness that pleases.
Here is a video of gentleman vs man by The Good Guy Inc that has a slightly different perspective. You would love it for more context.
The grey area in the man vs gentleman spectrum
It is important however to point out that there is a grey area between the ordinary man and the gentleman in the ordinary man–gentleman spectrum.
Some men alternate in between by showing some characteristics of both divides. But we have to be clear about the differences.
This post will x-ray the differences between the everyday man and a perfect gentleman.
Differences between the everyday man and a perfect gentleman
Just as described above, there are recognizable differences between the everyday man and the gentleman who genuinely wants to put everyone at ease in the best possible way.
1. A man might empathize but does not act. A gentleman act on his empathy
I would have said ‘a man does not have empathy, while the gentleman has’, but that would sound too partial because ordinary men do have empathy, the difference is they seldom act on their empathy.
The perfect gentleman has the ability to feel and understand the thoughts of others from their point of view and is moved to act accordingly.
Related: Qualities Women Hardly Resist in Men
For instance, he understands when a shy person is finding it difficult to communicate or the predicament of a grieving woman.
He does what is best for his conscience to help out. He could ask questions to know how he can help.
Most times, showing just concern is enough to send the right message.
2. A man orders people around but the perfect gentleman inspires
Yes! There is a big difference between forcing people to do a task and stimulating people’s conscience to do same.
The everyday man is obsessed with the little power he might be wielding and so oppresses people he can through unwholesome work ethics.
The perfect gentleman stimulates his subordinates to be productive by being at the forefront. He does not chastise and order people under him around.
Just like the silent leader, he gets results by getting closer enough to subordinates emotionally to know how he can help them improve.
3. A perfect gentleman returns the favour done to him
The gentleman sees every favour as a debt owed and he will repay any time he gets the chance.
It does not matter if the favour is coming from his superior or a wealthier person. He does not like the feeling of debt.
But the ordinary man would take as much favour as he can without the thought of reciprocating.
It takes discipline which the ordinary man does not have to have this standard.
4. A man is driven by his emotions; a perfect gentleman is emotionally intelligent
A man has a poor threshold for emotions which is evident by his reactions to situations.
He reacts negatively to, criticisms, he is quick to anger and breaks down in the face of despair. He lashes out at people when provoked without considering the next person’s rights and feelings.
The perfect gentleman has got a stoic personality and has the capacity to navigate, ignore or even tweak his emotions.
He cries and is vulnerable, but he is disciplined enough to know when and how to relieve these emotions.
Related: How to Treat a Lady Like a Gentleman
5. A man makes his woman envy other women; a perfect gentleman makes his woman the envy of other women
The perfect gentleman’s woman is an example to other women. She exudes the grace and maturity of her man.
He does not hesitate to make her look good, support her emotionally and not give her ‘it’s a man’s world vibes’.
In a world where there are trust and relationship problems, the gentleman is a huge gift to his woman because he treats her with respect and utmost care.
6. A man makes a move, and the perfect gentleman takes the extra step
The gentleman does not rest on his oars, he continuously grinds as a habit to remain successful.
The man only takes the necessary number of steps that keeps his head above water, but the gentleman goes further to extend the gap.
It takes discipline and a sense of purpose for a man to exceed expectations and only a few can pull this off – the perfect gentleman.
He consistently improves his ability wherever he finds himself to up his performance and elevate his value.
7. The everyday man seeks the attention of multiple women; a perfect gentleman has eyes for his woman alone
With the inability to have a grip on his emotions and feelings, the ordinary man lusts after women.
If he’s not looking to impress a woman, he’s trying to get their attention. It takes more than being a man to be able to resist the urge to see what other women offer.
On the other hand, a perfect gentleman focuses on his wife romantically and does not give her the impression he seeks romance elsewhere.
He is driven by principles that are deep-rooted and cannot be shaken by mere lust.
8. A man believes in talking, the perfect gentleman walks the talk.
Between saying and doing, many a shoe would have worn out. There is a big gap between saying “I am gonna do that”, and actually doing that.
The man is quick to boast about what he has done, but the gentleman brags with his actions.
There is no better conviction than backing your words with action.
9. The regular man leaves people with bland experiences; a perfect gentleman makes people remember him for a long time
The man might not leave people with a bad experience, but he sure does not give people the ‘wow’ vibes.
The gentleman takes people by surprise with his politeness and courtesy. He leaves beautiful experiences in people who cross his path.
That is why the poor woman in the street beams with a smile upon sighting him, and the young woman is stunned by his kindness.
Related: Why People Misunderstand the Gentleman
10. A man is limited by rules, a perfect gentleman is almost a non-conformist
A man sticks to rules blindly and is limited by them. A gentleman breaks all barriers that try to hold him down.
This does not mean he breaks rules with recklessness, he navigates difficult situations and bends the rules where necessary to get things done.
This is why his boss trusts him and gets along with him smoothly because he is reliable in breaking the rules.
11. The everyday man dominates a conversation with his loud voice but a gentleman gives everyone talking time
The everyday man is a noisemaker who shouts talks and scatter puns and laughs at his own jokes. A gentleman gives others talking time and makes his points with a voice for the immediate listeners.
A man’s voice drowns the voices of others who might speak about interesting matters.
A conversation should be two-way, giving everyone the opportunity to say their mind even if it’s a casual conversation.
A gentleman knows when his turn elapses and allows others to make their contribution while keeping a low tone commensurate with the ambience.
Conclusion
The everyday man is not awful and the perfect gentleman is not always fun. Both live and interact in society smoothly despite their differences.
However, being a gentleman has more benefits both for the polite man and society in general. Every gentleman is encouraged to learn politeness and courtesy as they make society more interesting.
The differences between the everyday man and a perfect gentleman are a reminder that we are humans.
Thanks for reading, and we would appreciate your feedback.
SOURCES:
Real difference between a guy and a gentleman
Rules to be the gentleman every woman wants
Pious Clements is the insightful voice behind "The Conducts of Life" blog, where he writes about life ethics, self-development, life mastery, and the dynamics of people and society.
With a profound understanding of human behaviuor and societal dynamics, Pious offers thought-provoking perspectives on ethical living and personal growth.
Through engaging narratives and astute observations, he inspires readers to navigate life's complexities with wisdom and integrity, encouraging a deeper understanding of the human experience and our place within society.