Why You Should Trust Your Instincts In Relationships

As an inbuilt alert system that helps humans watch out for and avoid dangers, it’s important you trust your instincts in relationships.

If instinct is important for our overall existence and preservation, it should not be ignored in human relationships which individuals draw happiness and emotional energy from.

Credit: Joyanima

Just like intuition which is a higher perception than instincts, having the full application of instincts has the capacity to make one feel like a psychic – of course humans are.

Read the clear difference between intuition and instincts.

But because our everyday lives are made simple by instincts and intuition, we seldom take cognizance of how instinctive and intuitive we should be in our relationships.

This article is going to focus on why you should trust your instincts in relationships.

See a comprehensive article on basic instincts.

Importance of instincts in relationship

The benefits of trusting your instincts in relationships

While instinct must be triggered, how we respond to it is the most important.

Almost everyone responds to relationship instincts in the same specific way. This is because instinct is rigid, and inflexible and does not improve no matter how often it’s triggered.

For instance, everyone reacts to heartbreak with a sunken mind, depression, and other negative emotions which are capable of causing more harm.

Related: Second-Hand Embarrassment: Why You Cringe When Others Embarrass Themselves

Though your response to it might be prompted by reflex, with training, you will be able to control how you respond to relationship issues, instead of whatever your instincts present.

Most relationships are marred by distrust and a lack of respect for partners.

This alone is enough to make one hyper-instinctive and always on the lookout for signs of danger and how to protect themselves not only from physical assault but also emotionally.

Importance of instinct in relationships

  • Makes you be at alert
  • Makes you not be taken unawares by your partner’s behaviour
  • Helps you to develop alternatives ahead of time
  • It requires a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer and you must provide it for clarity

Applying instinct in your relationship

Instinct is only developed within your being by living naturally and minimizing unnecessary modern life.

The closer you are to nature, the more instinctive you are since instinct is hardwired in our system to recognize and move away from danger.

People who expect little from their partners are never taken unawares by any unhealthy surprises they might pull.

This is because they have instinctively fortified their life against the anxiety that accompanies such behaviours.

Instinct is the doorway to intuition. In fact, you cannot be intuitive without first being instinctive.

You have to answer straightforwardly the questions your response to instinct is yearning for.

  • Can I put up with this her/his attitude?
  • Is this person the right person for me?
  • What if he/she sees another person better than me?
  • Should I leave the relationship now?

These questions are triggered by your instinct and you must answer them to determine how you act.

If your answer is a ‘no’, you will notice physiological signs immediately.

Your instinct will give an obvious sign when triggered. Here are some signs you will notice:

  • Goosebumps
  • An uncurling feeling in your gut
  • A knotting feeling in your chest
  • Sweating even when the weather is cold
  • Fast heartbeat
  • A hard swallow

These are negative signs that should trigger a fight or flight response, therefore, informing you there is a danger in the relationship and you should tread carefully.

However, if you give a positive answer, you will notice positive signs including:

  • Elevated mood
  • Unconscious smile
  • Shaking your foot
  • The desire to mate

And another instinctive body language that indicates happiness and a good mood.

Also Read: Why You Are Being Exploited in A Romantic Relationship

How to trust your instincts in relationships

Ignoring your instincts in your relationship spells doom

Most people in romantic relationships sometimes are not happy. They are insecure, walk on eggshells, and are not sure what decision to take.

Their instincts get triggered every now and then, they know something is not right, and when they try to talk to their partner, they are either dismissed or the table turned against them.

They are labeled overly sensitive instead of addressing their concern and when this goes on for a while without resolution, it can degenerate into something harmful.

3 ways to trust your instincts in relationships

1. Don’t ignore your emotions

Emotions are manifestations of the state of the mind and can serve as instincts when one has a strong relationship with themselves and feelings.

For instance, worry is an emotional and instinctive way to respond to bad treatment.

Worry won’t go away unless the underlying cause is removed. Usually, the partner’s behaviour triggers this feeling.

If your partner does not help your worry, then it’s time to take action that would guarantee your happiness.

Related: Instinctual Motivation: How Instincts Drive Desire For Status

2. Unreliability triggers your instincts in relationships

An unreliable partner always keeps your instincts on hyper-alert. One of the reasons for love and romance is companionship which thrives on honesty, reliability, and peace.

If people don’t do what they say they would do, they are not reliable and this can trigger instincts to make a person want to take flight in a relationship.

This is a major problem if they constantly are unreliable on important things that have a direct effect on you.

3. Don’t take your insecurity for granted in your relationship

If you are feeling more insecure than you feel confident in your relationship, then you should be worried. That’s your instinct connecting intuition and passing a message.

If this is recurring, with your partner not helping the situation, it’s a problem.

You are not to blame when you feel insecure as triggered by your instincts. Talk to your partner about your worries and see their response.

In most cases, you might be tired of booking a talk session on the matter with your partner because they don’t seem to care about your worries.

If it’s something you can live with, that’s fine, but if you can’t bear the vibes you are getting, then it’s time to change strategy.

Related: Breaking Free: The Power of Independent Thinking


You should trust your instincts in a relationship because it is more accurate than it is not. It gives you hints that you can investigate further to have a grip on the situation.

To sharpen your instincts, you should gravitate more towards nature and have a receptive mind.


1.Intuition and instincts

2. Mating instincts

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A Personal Development Content Creator and an author. I write about life ethics and love to document and share life hacks and experiences of people to help others make good life decisions.

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