How To Be A Real Man At Home And Social Circles

A man who drifts along with every situation without the will to act, change or affect situations should learn how to be a real man.

Some men get jittery over issues on ‘how to be a real man’ because they are uncomfortable and unsure where they fall in the masculinity spectrum.

In Africa, Asia, the Americas, and Europe, the issues of the manliness arise every now and then and cannot be ignored.

Every man wants to know how to be a real masculine man.

There are discussions on what a complete man is and should be in society. Of course, there are men who only exist as men and do not meet their obligations as men.

Some argue that any human who is biologically a man is masculine enough and that any categorization is an attempt to pitch men against each other and set them worrying about their deficits of traits that define a man or what I can call fragile masculinity.

A real man must be a man of purpose everywhere he goes

Here is an article explaining fragile manliness in detail.

Whatever the arguments are, there are traits, obligations, and qualities that are expected by the man in society. If a man falls short of these traits, he’s not a real man.

This post is about helping you, the man to know your duties and conduct as a man in the family, workplace, and social circles and carry them out judiciously and earn yourself the badge of confident man.

Let’s go there!

Definition of a real man

A man should always be conscious of his time

Anybody can be a man, but it takes more to be an authentic man.

An authentic man is a man who is at peace with his masculinity – healthy masculinity – and meets his obligation and duties as a dependable man in the home, workplace, and social circles.

The strength of a true man comes from his innate principles, sense of balance, intelligence, and capacity to hold his own in any circumstance by applying mature interpersonal skills.

Instead of treating a woman as an object or acquisition, the real man sees her as an equal and a partner whom he can be on a team with.

Let’s now examine the qualities that make a real man. You as an aspiring confident man don’t have to acquire all of these qualities but you should possess a measure of them to measure up.

This could be the answer you are looking for on how to become a real man.

How to be a real man: Credit – Bedros Keuilian

Preparing to become a better man

It’s time for you to make that change. Where are you going to start? It’s good to have a clear view of what to expect, where and how you are going to concentrate and how difficult the processes are going to be.

We often hear that nothing good comes easy. That saying was said many centuries ago when there was not much competition, let alone now that life has become so competitive that you would be sidelined along the path if you don’t keep moving.

But nothing is too difficult for the man who envisages his tasks and prepares for them ahead of time. The key is a strong desire and not being intimidated by the challenges.

To prepare you for the task ahead, you have to be aware of the following, so you are not taken unawares. This awareness is not to scare you, but to hand you a kind of a map of what to expect:

1. It’s not a walk in the park

Recreating or rebuilding yourself is a deliberate decision and not something you stumble on along life.

In fact, it is a choice that you have to make and requires effort and denying yourself of things you would otherwise see as fun.

The extra time you put in taking lessons for self-development, avoidance of some activities, and consistent focus is not so much fun.

However, the thought of the benefits you will enjoy when you become a better man would always keep you going and on track.

2. You must cultivate patience

Patience is a virtue and is exercised throughout life. Becoming a better man requires continuous patience along the way. You can’t say I would a better man in three months’ time.

You might be able to make progress in three months’ time, but you cannot say ‘okay, I have arrived’, I am now a better man.

It’s an ongoing project that will take years to perfect, maintain and continue to be burnished. Continue to be patient and put effort bit by bit in every area of your life.

3. One step at a time

You should be aware that you can’t take more than you can handle. Start small, and handle one error at a time. It could be behavioural error, goal error, or lack of focus.

Taking one step at a time keeps the motivation stable and you can gauge progress. Don’t be lured by quick fixes and instant gratification.

Replace them with a quality life of steady development.

4. Failure awaits you

As scary as it sounds, you will fail at one time or the other. As you know, you can’t always figure things out at first instance. You have to do things over and over again before they become habits and entrenched in your subconscious.

When you know you will fail, you will not be alarmed by it, but go through the process of failure and come out better. Be consistent!

5. It’s a continuous process

There is no point in the journey you will say, I have arrived. You must continue to improve and acquire relevant knowledge to keep you ahead. It could be learning a new programme, a new platform, acquainting yourself with new technology e,tc.

You must continue to update yourself and stay recent in the fast-paced world of ours or become redundant.

General traits and qualities of a real man

There are qualities and traits that a man can be identified with. Though men have different ways of expressing their masculinity, real men are identified with positive masculinity.

The following traits and qualities are familiar with the authentic man in no particular order:

1. You should be comfortable and confident being a man

You don’t have control over being born a man. It’s by virtue of Providence that any human is born a man or a woman.

If any human can choose his or her gender, that is left for science to clarify.

A real man is or should learn to be comfortable in his own skin. I have known people who were born men but all their traits tilt toward the feminine gender.

Traits like gait, voice and other demeanors have gender. There are even people who are changing their genders because they are not comfortable with their default gender.

Being a real, authentic man requires that you are in agreement with yourself so you can naturally work on and patch up on being a true man.

How to be comfortable with your gender as a man

  • There is nothing you can do about it, only to accept your gender
  • Know your duties as a man. Yes! Stereotypes exist, but we can’t deny that a man is a man for a reason.
  • Learn and master manly traits – be bold, help others, be confident, don’t abuse people you are stronger than, avoid conflicts.
  • Practice manly activities

Watch this insightful video on the traits of a confident man by He Spoke Style:

Traits of a confident man – Credit: He Spoke Style

2. Lead a purposeful life and be goal oriented

Every man who aspires to be better does not just exist or drift along. He lives a life of purpose and always has aspirations.

Living on purpose means doing what resonates with your values and beliefs which are directed toward fulfilment.

Your actions are calculated and lead toward meeting up an agenda. This agenda is a part of a bigger purpose which is spread in bits of achievements.

Every man should have aspirations and goals. You have to have something that keeps you busy which makes up much of your future projections.

Set goals for yourself and be on track to achieving them. No need to whine about situations, you must make something out of the situation you find yourself.

How to be purposeful

  • Be self-aware
  • Know your values as a person
  • Don’t be afraid of failing, the more you fail, the more you learn
  • Trust your abilities while you improve
  • Know your passion and align your strengths there
  • Learn a skill or get an education in your area of passion
  • Adapt to changes
  • Put in the work

Happierhuman wrote comprehensively on living a purposeful life.

3. Be responsible

Being a responsible man is one way to be a real man

A real man is a man who takes responsibility for his life, actions, and decisions and does not blame others for his fate.

A responsible man is defined as making good decisions and caring for others. A dependable man who can be trusted.

Responsibility defines a man because he has a lot of people looking up to him and so can pose as a good example to them.

How to be responsible

  • Own your own actions
  • Don’t blame others
  • Be trustworthy
  • Don’t abdicate your responsibility
  • Be at the forefront when others are stepping back
  • Allow people under you to grow
  • Protect your work and integrity

4. Be open to self-development

Personal development makes a man to have confident

Continuous self-development is the way of the real man. At every given time, he is making improvements in his life.

This is to make him prepared for opportunities in the changing times. With each personal improvement comes a new opportunity for him to move to the next level in his life.

How to be open to self-development

  • Know when to get a new skill
  • Read more books in your area of work
  • Develop a hunger for growth and being the best
  • Don’t relax and feel you have arrived
  • Invest in materials and lessons for growth
  • Do things yourself

Skillsyouneed wrote extensively on self-development

5. Don’t fit into harmful stereotypes

Our society is plagued by stereotyping of genders

Masculinity could be regarded as a stereotype, but there is nothing harmful in categorizing humans according to their gender.

However, there are negative and harmful stereotypes associated with masculinity that influence the decisions of men, and also make them tend to not live to their full potential.

A confident man is not bound by what the public or society thinks, so far he’s not breaking any laws.

A true man can wear pink clothes because he is comfortable wearing them, he can perform feminine activities because it’s what he wants to do irrespective of the public opinion.

However, he should be able to defend himself when the backlash is rife.

How not to fit into harmful stereotypes

  • Don’t be deterred by what the public thinks
  • Know how to defend yourself
  • Be bold and confident
  • Be consistent with your belief

6. Live with principles

Live with principles as a real man

The man who is a real man is governed by principles. He has defined ways and rules of doing things.

He is governed by time, priorities, and needs and lives his life according to these principles.

He does not hurt another because of greed and he keeps his words of agreement to the latter.

How to be a principled man

  • Always be honest
  • Show accountability
  • Be compassionate
  • Show courage
  • Be fair in all your dealings
  • Show gratitude when necessary
  • Be humble
  • Be loyal as it is not a sign of weakness

The Circle have more on a life of principle.

7. Eat healthily

Eating healthy should be the priority of every man

Health is a very important issue for the man of honour and every other human for that matter.

He does not eat because it’s edible. He eats because his body needs it and it won’t come in the way of his good health.

There are men who eat whatever is presented and do not have any consideration for their health.

It is believed that at age 40 or earlier, a man should watch what he eats as some diets would hamper many areas of his health.

Men are also encouraged to drink less alcohol as a health measure to not over-labour their livers, kidneys, and other internal organs.

It is in good taste to always look out for signals the body gives and schedule an appointment with your doctor.

5 Foods That Improve Men’s Health: Credit – Newsweek

How to eat healthily

  • Eating more vegetables, fruit, whole grains, lean meats, nuts
  • Reduce your intake of foods high in saturated fat, added salt, added sugar, and alcohol
  • Include ginger into your diet
  • Consider foods with unsaturated fats that are good for the heart such as avocados, canola oil, olive oil, seeds, and nuts

Everydayhealth has good advice on men’s health.

8. Be authentic

As a reputable person, you should be authentic

Being authentic is one of the identifiable qualities of a real man. As an aspiring true man, you have to be yourself and be comfortable in your own skin.

Developing self-awareness, listening to your intuition, practicing self-reflection, and being honest with yourself is how to be an authentic man.

You cannot appear in black to make a deal, and appear colourless when it’s time to fulfill the deal.

Be consistent with how people see you and do not try to do shady deals. If you don’t meet up for an appointment or a deal, inform the other person on time and make it clear why, and fix another and don’t disappoint.

9. Be organized

Being organized is required by any human. You are not born organized; you learn it and will continue to improve. You have to cultivate habits that are healthy to be organized.

How to stay organized:

  • Planning things out
  • Jotting things down
  • Keeping only the things you need
  • Removing what should be removed
  • Making schedules and deadlines
  • Avoiding procrastination
  • Decluttering your space as regular as possible

10. Be polite

Politeness makes a man

Genuine courtesy is the outward manifestation of the heart’s most charitable impulses. It upholds altruism, generosity, compassion, and the adage “Do unto others as you would have others do towards you.” As a result, its core value is to love your neighbour as yourself.

Unfortunately, it is believed that politeness has been constantly in decline in recent times.

How a real man should speak to other people: Credit – DLM Men’s Lifestyle

People no longer care how rude they are. There seems to be a fever of preoccupation with everyone’s life that we forget to express ourselves in good manners.

In this kind of society, being polite and standing out in it is a great way to be an example.

Real men are polite no matter the impatient bandwagon society has jumped into. Be polite to your family, to your colleagues, and to in fact the least person you come in contact with.

If politeness is only a mask, as many philosophers claim, then wearing it is preferable because it will win you love and admiration.

If you take it upon yourself to please others, you will find it becoming habitual and eventually natural and part of you.

If you wear the polite mask with the sincere desire to give pleasure to others and make all the little meetings of life pass off smoothly and agreeably, it will soon cease to be a mask.

And you are going to be rewarded with the same energy and acquaintance you have never known.

11. Don’t make women the centre of your life

When I was growing up, my grandmother used to tell me to run away from women. At first, I thought women were some kinds of witches that would whittle a man until nothing remained of him. She was never specific about the dangers women could pose.

It was later I understood what she meant. Women are not bad, but they can ruin a man’s life if he makes them the centre of his life.

A man should know how to have his way around women. They can give emotional injury, and make a man forget all his purposes in life only to regret later.

My advice as a man above forty is to approach women with care and not to be carried away by love and emotions.

Have a skill and source of income so you can give value. Be financially stable before dabbling into women.

When you have value, women won’t be a problem to you. They gravitate towards value and you would be able to make your choice.

12. Keep your words

It is easy to see a man who says one thing and does another. But a man who keeps his word in recent times is rare.

Be that one man whose words can be taken to the bank. Be that man who can be vouched for that never disappoints. The man that can stand by his words, even if the tides are against him.

13. Be unruffled in times of conflict

Life is not a walk in the park. Life is a walk in the crooked canyons where you stump against projecting obstacles here and there and you must not stop.

You will encounter conflicts you didn’t ask for, of course, you can’t ask for conflict as a real man.

But there are times conflicts stand in your way and you must not run away. You have to stand up to it without fear.

For instance, you could make a mistake in balancing an account in the office and your boss is emotionally hijacked and threatening fire.

Remain unruffled and explain to your boss confidently without fidgeting or trembling about what transpired.

Always know that an unruffled man would always earn the admiration of people even the person who brings the conflict to him.

More on keeping your cool here.

14. Be a leader

At some point, a boy becomes a leader even as little as 3 years. When you have someone under you to direct, you are a leader.

A 3-year-old can stop his infant sibling from putting a toy in his mouth. That’s leadership.

However, leadership in adults can be complicated and a task that requires emotional intelligence, social awareness, and relationship management.

These skills are necessary to make a leader succeed and stand out without clashing with his subordinates every now and then.

A real man leader should have his finger on the pulse of every situation. He should be in control and knows when to and when not to do what.

Wikihow has more on how to be a leader.

15. Be dependable

A true man is dependable. He is stable in his good qualities and you can count on him to not disappoint in the home, workplace, and anywhere he is acquainted.

Be a dependable man by doing what you say you will do. When you say you are going to complete a task, go ahead and complete it.

Dependability is driven by discipline and a dependable man builds trust by holding himself and his team accountable

16. Cultivate honesty

In our fast-paced world today, there are many reasons to be dishonest in our dealings, especially with the rise of social media and smartphones.

A man of honour would never have a reason to lie or deceive people by giving false information.

If facing situations where they have an option to be dishonest, they rather face the consequences while their integrity remains intact.

Be A Better Man: 6 Steps To Become The Best YOU Can Be – Credit: alpha m.

17. Be compassionate

Being compassionate is the desire or urge to relieve the suffering of others. Though real men are expected by some quarters of society to be tough and averse to emotions.

While being tough is a good trait of an authentic man, he identifies appropriately with people emotionally.

He expresses healthy masculinity which involves showing real feelings and alleviating people’s predicament when he can.

He can be touched by the suffering of a man under punishment and vouch for his freedom, and can even go ahead to sign a surety for his good conduct. That’s being compassionate.

18. Be empathetic

A real man is an all-round developed man who also has the ability to sense the emotions of people around him and imagine what they feel so he can use the information to treat them accordingly.

Empathy is necessary for every relationship both at the home, workplace and in the social circle.

Without empathy, a man becomes an insensitive selfish person who hardly reads the room unless prompted.

Empathy takes cues from facial expressions, body language, and moods to empathise with people.

19. Be fair in all your dealings

A masculine man should not be impartial. He treats everyone justly without favouritism or discrimination.

We are always tempted by instincts to favour and give preference to people we are familiar with, but this would make you look biased and partial which is a negative trait for the man of honour.

No matter the situation, always be fair and treat everyone equally. For example, applying reasonable punishments to all involved without discrimination is an example of fairness.

20. Don’t prove you are a real man

A true man does not go about shouting ‘I am a real man’, ‘I am an authentic man.’ Or compete with other men to prove he is one.

His behaviour and approach to issues would let everyone who is observing know he is not the everyday man.

Trying to prove or bring attention to his achievements or acts of manliness reeks of insecurity and attention-seeking.

21. Dress like a man

Dress masculine if you are keen to be seen as one

A French proverb goes thus:

“It is not the cowl which makes the monk,”

But the monk is known abroad by his cowl.

A cowl is a loose piece of clothing monks wear. What this means is that it is not the dress that makes the man.

However, the real man can be known by how he dresses. A man’s refinement of mind and education should be reflected in his dressing.

True men have style both in dressing and other life choices. They are conscious of what and how they dress.

Dressing like a man suggests you dress for the occasion and in what you are comfortable in and not what is trendy or to get attention.

You might wear an average dress and look sharp in it because you are dressing to look nice and not to please.

Though this might not be a rigid rule, manliness comes with dignity and decency. One who aspires to be manly should not be seen dressing in ripped jeans on an official occasion.

How to dress like a real man

  • Let the dress suit the occasion. It is in bad taste to dress like a golf player at an official gathering.
  • Look smart in neat and well-fitting clothes
  • Don’t dress like a boy when you are a real man. For example, wearing your face cap facing back.
  • Buy nice shoes for your jeans
  • Choose quality over quantity
  • Wear neutral colors and alternate sometimes
  • Avoid trendy clothing
  • Have a simple masculine fashion style

More on dressing like a true man by Menshealth.

22. Exercise patience

Patience is a virtue that every real man should possess. Being patient means being able to be calm and not restless or fidgety when something takes too long or when someone is not conforming to what you want.

In a world like ours, we have a lot around that trigger impatience and irritability, but emotional intelligence will always be handy to keep us in control and patient.

Patience gives the real man time to choose how to respond to a situation, instead of acting instinctively.

How to be patient

  • When it’s like you are being rushed, deliberately slow down and know why you have to slow down – to be collected and more in control.
  • Ask yourself, ‘what’s the worst that would happen?’. Lean into the worst that would happen and be familiar with it while being optimistic. This would make you more relaxed and bolder.
  • Accept your current circumstances and lean in to identify with them. Trying to rush out of the circumstance when you don’t have the wherewithal would result in self-crisis and other traits that accompany impatience like irritability and anger.

23. Integrity

Being man enough requires and values what is honest, true, and averse to unworthiness, wrong, and personal gains.

They are noble, kind, and do what is right and within the ambits of the law.

Men of integrity do not fear being vulnerable as they know the value of being open and honest.

They take responsibility and blame for their actions.

How to have integrity

  • Be self-aware
  • Be vulnerable
  • Find your sense of purpose and focus on it
  • Recognise low-integrity situations both on social media and real life
  • Be clear in your decisions
  • Be flexible with change
  • Review your own morals and ethics and make sure they are agreeable with society
  • Be a role model in integrity to people under you
  • Stand up for what you believe in
  • Be around people who have integrity

More on integrity by The Art Of Manliness.

24. Bodily exercise

Bodily exercise is good for men

Bodily exercise is one of the proven ways to maintain health. The human body is a wonderful machine with various parts which depend on and are adapted to each other.

A real man should engage in several exercises to keep his body and soul active in health. Whether it be walking, running, or lifting things, a man should do it regularly.

The more muscles are exercised, the stronger they become. That’s why people like labourers and artisans are more muscular and presumably stronger than persons of sedentary occupation.

How to exercise

  • Walk
  • Running
  • Squats
  • Pushups
  • Lunges
  • Lifting weights
  • Russian twist
  • Football
  • Swimming
  • Cycling

Comprehensive post about bodily exercise by Betterme.

25. Embrace maturity to be masculine

The anecdote above is a description of masculine maturity. There are many other aspects of maturity you have to attain as a man depending on the part of the world you are.

Though most of the alpha male signs mimic the real man’s traits, they are easily recognizable.

Culture, religion, and other factors play a part in the kinds of things you can do to be successful and fulfilled as a man without chasing an imaginary image dream.

But the mind of the mature man is universal, it doesn’t come with race.

ALSO READ: 8 Reasons To Jettison The Alpha Male Personality

That same approach will work for you perfectly. Instead of having sleepless nights about developing toxic alpha traits, get to work and start giving your life value.

Get resources and develop yourself, be identified with something of value that can be given a commercial value.

This is because, respect and prestige which are what people admire in others must be attached to value.

Before you say jack, you are on your way to a mature, disciplined, gentleman who is to be reckoned with in society while living your natural, normal life.

26. Cultivate confidence

Developing confidence is next to being responsible. Confidence would make your boldness effective by removing fear and confronting tasks, taking on projects, establishing connections, and moving up fast on the social ladder.

Confidence comes by stepping out, participating in tasks and knowing a lot. These things cannot be wished away and granted by a genie, nor are you going to acquire them by intimidation.

27. Be independent

Becoming an independent man is good for any man who is above 18 years of age. Not necessarily leaving your parent’s house, as could be seen in Africa.

You should be independent in your thinking, your aspirations and do not depend on people to make decisions for you.

This does not take away the fact you have to have a mentor if you like. But you have to take charge and chart your path to the future.

28. Focus

Whatever you do, focus! Being distracted by things that are not contributing to the big goal is not in good taste.

Mature men do not sit around, daydreaming about becoming a big man in the future or getting the most beautiful woman.

Masculine men work hard and have something to brag about which they achieve through focus and steady grinding.

29. Develop a manly posture

Always carry yourself like a masculine man with your head high, shoulders squared with the chest out. It is in excessively bad taste to slouch.

It is important to note that this is not a concrete trait of a man. But, it’s a good posture to appear masculine.

30. Be emotionally intelligent

This is the all in all of becoming a confident masculine person. It encompasses all that can shoot you up the social ladder, and with all the traits above, you have no hitch on your way to becoming a confident masculine man in society.

Emotional intelligence embodies effective communication, self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management.

Being competent in these emotional skills would improve your confidence and masculinity which would exude on their own without you being showy.

“Man, know thyself.”

When you are aware of your emotions and how they inform your actions, you would be able to be in control of them.

Emotions like anger, hatred, fear and love should not overwhelm you when they come, nor should they influence your behaviour. Instead, they should make you stronger.

31. Be vulnerable

When you let go and expect less validation from people, you become vulnerable. When you are vulnerable, that is when the true test of masculinity and confidence comes.

You have to show you can overcome those situations that make you want to be validated. Lean in on your insecurities and come out stronger.

An insecure man would dodge vulnerability and project empty self that deflates with pressure.

32. Respect women

Treat women with respect and as females, no matter how you think they appear, or how their behaviours affect you.

They can be very funny, but that’s not what you have to dwell on. Treat them with respect regardless.

33. Be a gentleman

Being a gentleman is the highest form of masculinity. In fact, it is the most attractive trait confident masculinity can have because it is full of surprises.

Being gentle does not mean you are weak or less of a man. It shows you are confidently masculine but choose to be a gentleman because it puts everybody around you at ease and makes you approachable.

How to be a real man at home

Manliness is exercised at home and family

A man will always have a family – wife and children, parents and siblings, etc. He has a duty to look out for them and make sure they are fine.

Below are some of the duties of a true man at home:

1. Look out for your parents and siblings

Always make sure your parents are comfortable according to your means. If they are aged, create time to be with them more often.

Let them have your love and let them know you care about their happiness and wellbeing.

Be all to them which you would want your own children to be to you.

Your brothers and sisters are not exempted. If you are the eldest, they have a lot to learn from you and a real man should not disappoint.

If you are married, you need more attention for your wife and family but you should not abandon your siblings. Everything is not about money and material things.

Checking up on them as often as you can is in good taste. Should death take away your father, you should be prepared to stand in his stead and assume his responsibility to look after your mother and others.

2. Be the provider

A man is the breadwinner of the family, though, in recent times, women are becoming breadwinners too.

He should have a job or business that provides to take care of his family.

He should be able to provide food, shelter, clothing, and other necessities for the family.

3. Be the protector of your home

“But no one can enter the strong man’s house and plunder his property unless he first binds the strong man, and then he will plunder his house.”

Mark 3:27

The true man is the security officer of his home. He puts up measures to make sure no harm comes to his family.

He should be ready at all times to take the bullet for his family. A real man should not ask his wife to go investigate the sound at the gate or door by midnight.

The man will protect his children from bullies and anyone who tries to inculcate bad behaviours in his kids.

His protection is physical, emotional, and social.

More on being a protector for the home by A Conquering Faith.

4. Be a teacher to your family

Training needs self-control and dedication. The admonition which is a form of teaching includes verbal correction of bad behaviours and should be regularly done by the father and mother to the children.

To discipline children is a demonstration of love by the father who should be a real man.

When a man leaves his kids to others for basic life teachings, they are at the mercy of whatever those teachers have to offer.

The real man is the first teacher for his kids and a guide to his wife. He teaches his kids how to interact with the outside world, how to handle emotions, and develop confidence.

The man should teach his family how to be resilient, be patient in life, put in the work, and any other teachings they need to navigate life properly.

No matter how little time the man has, he should be able to perform these duties because his teaching as a real man is different from what the wife or outsiders for that matter would offer.

5. Respect your partner

Masculine persons respect their partners

There are of course, misunderstandings in relationships and marriages. But a man of honour would have constructive misunderstandings and will never put down his partner.

There are very toxic women though, a real man ignores when he is persistently being dragged into brawls unbecoming of a manly man.

He does not raise his hands on his wife or partner no matter what. A man whose only way of settling dispute with his wife is fights is fragile and have some pending lectures on handling marital disputes.

Women are irrational most times, we know. Handling them requires long patience and good relationship management.

Talking things over with them at the appropriate time and not presenting yourself as a lord is in good taste.

How to be a real man in the workplace

Workplaces is a place to exercise healthy masculinity

The workplace is made up of many kinds of personalities, positions and requires a high level of courtesy, especially in corporate work environments.

The real man would know how to navigate around without stepping on toes or having unnecessary ego battles.

Below are some of the ways a real man can succeed in his workplace:

1. Be accountable

Every employee has a task to fulfill in his capacity as an employee. Meeting up with his task should be the priority of a real man every time he is at work.

He should be accountable for whatever goes on in his capacity and not apportion blames.

An authentic man does not rub shoulders with his superiors either in public or private. He should always know that he should follow courtesy to the latter.

This is also applicable in the non-corporate world. Whether you are a handyman, a small shop owner, or a mechanic, the principle is the same.

Be accountable to yourself or to your boss.

2. Avoid gossips

Some workplaces have cliques of employees who select themselves according to interests.

Though it’s okay to have friends or fellow employees you gravitate towards, you should not be in such clique because your boss is an asshole, and you spend time talking about how your boss is a terrible human.

It is tempting to gossip about everything that happens in the workplace, but a true man would resist the such urge, even outside the working environment.

You don’t want to be caught up in gossip-related accusations. It is embarrassing and put you on a very low level.

3. Keep to rules

There are usually rules governing every workplace. Upon employment, orientation is given to the employee and you have to keep to the rules.

A man who goes about forming his own rules because he thinks his boss or the establishment got it wrong with their rules would have problems, even if you are right.

If you observed an anomaly, you can approach your superior in the most humbling way to register your observation.

4. Avoid unhealthy romance

The romance between two adults is not illegal. But a real man should be wary of having such in his workplace with an employee.

Workplace romance can affect the morale and productivity of employees negatively. It can distract the people involved and even their coworkers.

When things go wrong, it can even lead to claims of sexual harassment that can drag the name of the company to the mud.

There have been romances that led to good marital relationships. The key is to know what you are getting into and handle it like a real man.

If you know you are not getting into something serious, it’s best to avoid such entirely.

5. Avoid cutting corners to get work done

A new study found that employees that tend to cut corners are usually morally compromised, lack focus, and are low in conscientiousness.

Cutting corners results in risks that might spell damage or loss. In a survey of more than 1000 Americans and Australians, it was found that one-quarter of employees cut corners and these are mostly men.

Cutting corners is characterized by avoiding or skipping duties that are important or finding unhealthy ways to fulfill the tasks quicker.

Research has shown that cutting corners is undesirable and has a range of negative outcomes like poor performance and violation of safety measures which would result in injuries or losses.

An authentic man will always follow the laid down steps to get his work done. It’s better to get your work done correctly but later than to get into trouble trying to cut corners.

How to be a real man in social circles

The street is a better place to express you are man enough

We constantly find ourselves in the company of others away from the home and workplace. Here are ways to be a real man out there in the social environment.

1. Conversation

We find ourselves in conversations in the street, in bars, and in other casual places in society.

One of the rules for a real man conversation is to be careful while discussing political or religious matters in the public.

Such discussions almost always lead to irritating differences in opinion and often, to quarrels.

It is but a few men that can discuss political or religious matters with candor and good judgment without an offended temper to give or take offence.

In circles of real men who engage in a tete-a-tete conversation of politics or religion, they listen to each other with perfect propriety.

However, these topics should be avoided at the dinner table or in the company of ladies.

If you as a real man are drawn into such discussion without intending to be, be cautious that your personal opinion does not lead you into languages and actions unbecoming of a real man.

Listen attentively, even to those whose opinions do not align with yours, and keep your temper on leash. A man in temper ceases to be a complete man.

Listen courteously to those whose opinions do not agree with yours, and keep your temper. A man in a passion ceases to be a gentleman.

2. Parties

At parties, there is a particular kind of rudeness very common with young people who are often in groups and indulge in the noisiest and animated merriment with loud laughter for jokes only known to themselves.

It’s excessively in bad taste to be in such a group. A true man while being cheerful and happy should avoid any show of romping in society.

If dancing is your thing, dance with the lady that accompanies you, and maybe the hostess if she’s a lady, and if there are other ladies in the family, you can invite them if they are willing to dance briefly.

3. In the streets

An honourable man would always be polite in the street. This includes courtesy towards your fellow men and ladies irrespective of their age or position.

A man who engages a woman in an insult in the street lowers himself into a brute and is very far from becoming a real man, it doesn’t matter if she’s the offender.

When walking in the street, give people with loads, priests, women, or elderly people the most comfortable side of the road.

In a crowd of people, never push people rudely that block your way, instead wait patiently or if you are in a hurry for business, a few courteous words would do a great job for you to have your way than the most violent pushing.

How can I be a better man in a relationship?

Being a better man does not end in the above tips. It should also be extended to you family especially wife.

Here are tips on bow to become a better person in your relationship:

  1. Pay attention to your partner
  2. Show unconditional care as every partner need some degree of care
  3. Help out in the house chores even when you are not comfortable with them
  4. Know your spouse or girlfriend
  5. Boycott cheating
  6. Accept your partner and don’t chastise her becomes of the changes on her body
  7. Create time for your partner
  8. Show that you are trustworthy and live it


The real man is not just a man who can smooth-talk or tries to fit into society. He is a man who can be a role model, and who can be looked up to with respect and pride.

He is not the man who chases every woman that appeals to him, he has his way around women though but in the most appropriate way.

A lot of men act in ways that suggest they lack confidence, and self-control and are driven by instincts. They worry as they don’t get the admiration and love they desire.

The real man is admired naturally because he adopts the above skills by practicing and being deliberate about them.

A real man should be conscious of all his conduct at the home, workplace, and in the street not just to please, but because it is his duty to be so.

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Be A Man

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A Personal Development Content Creator and an author. I write about life ethics and love to document and share life hacks and experiences of people to help others make good life decisions.

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4 thoughts on “How To Be A Real Man At Home And Social Circles”

  1. Excellent guide for being a man. One point you were making about work and responsibility reminded me of a book called Extreme Ownership. We get more respect when we own the problem and agree to not let the error happen again. See Jocko Willing for more.


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